Nancy Jo

While my mother and I nervously awaited a response from my grandfather, I tried to fill the gaps with researching what we knew about my deceased grandmother. When I sat down to type in her name and residence, I honestly had no expectations. I wasn’t trying to be cynical, but as you can imagine, I was guarding myself a bit after so many dead ends. My mother didn’t have a computer so this part was my job now. No pressure.

I took a deep breath, typed in her name and pressed enter.  My first hit was an obituary, “Jo Anne Marsh Camm”.  I scrambled to get a pen, Died…. Norfolk Virginia…daughter of…SURVIVORS INCLUDE!! I had to stop and literally catch my breath. I felt like I was shaking from too much caffeine, and my heart and mind were definitely getting ahead of me.  “Survivors include a sister, Dorcas and a brother, Loring Jr. of Elmira NY.” Elmira, New York?! I immediately thought of the countless trips we had taken to Elmira to see our adopted cousins. Not only that, but my mom was only living an hour away from her birth family at this very moment.

I promptly called my mom to plan the next steps.

Excited by the possibility of living extended family, my mom and I discussed the obituary I found- which was now four years old. I know we both sensed an imaginary looming clock above our heads.  “Hey, Mom? What do you think about giving Jo Anne’s siblings a call?” I asked. “I know Terri said not to, but…” “Yes,” she said, “just give me a day or so to think of what I want to say.” I agreed and supportively handed off the baton.

The day after I told my mother about Dorcas and Loring she got out the White Pages and manually looked up their names. As she slowly pushed in the numbers (she recalled to me) she noticed that her “what have you got to lose” attitude was wavering. Nonetheless, the phone was ringing now, and she had gone all in. An older woman with a small voice picked up the phone and said, “Hello?” My mother introduced herself, “Hello, my name is Nancy. I am sorry to bother you, but I have reason to believe you might be part of my biological family. I was adopted out of…”  Dorcas immediately cut her off with an almost wailing urgency, “NANCY JO, WHERE HAVE YOU BEEN?!?

My mom, stunned, and caught off guard, paused a moment because the woman the other end was asking a question that didn’t have a boiled down answer. There was stammering on both ends of the line for a moment, and then Dorcas pulled herself together and continued the conversation with a few details about my birth grandmother, as well as asking a few questions about my mom.  I am not sure how long they spoke, but I know in the end there was a plan to meet the following weekend, and a warm insistence on calling Dorcas, “Aunt Doll.” No pressure.